Wednesday, March 3, 2010

July 24, 2003 11:15 PM

As bad as I feel, Thursday night is always shopping night. Dave insisted that this Thursday is no exception. I suppose it could have been put off if it weren’t for the memorial service we’re having here in two days.

Dave had to practically drag me out of the house, though. I think he’s afraid I’ll grow roots to my bed and never move again if he doesn’t push me. Maybe I would. Walking through Costco I felt like I was slogging through molasses. “One foot in front of the other” I kept telling myself. But God can use the most unlikely of circumstances for His good will.

This week Costco is hosting a special booth in the main aisle displaying and selling candles. Standing at the display was a very tall man ready and waiting with a smile to package up your order. As much as I like them it’s hard for me to find candles that are free of the fragrances that give me migraines, so I stopped to ask the salesman if the candles contained any artificial ingredients. He told me no and as I perused the display we chatted for several minutes about the various natural ingredients the company uses to create their product. Then for some reason this man I’d never met before asked me, "Are you alright? You seem really down about something."
I looked up into his eyes and said, “My son died yesterday.”
His entire face changed, but it wasn’t a look of pity that overcame him. More a look of realization. "If you don't mind my asking, how old was your son?"
"He was thirty-one. He died of complications of diabetes" I added before he could ask.
"I have a thirty-two year old son that I haven't talked to in more than three years. He's called me three times in the last year and each time I refuse to talk to him. We had a big blow-up about something bad that he did and I just don't want to have anything to do with him."
I chose two candles to purchase, and as he handed me the bag he said, "Next time he calls, I'm going to talk to him."
I hope so. Seems such a sorrow to lose a son that’s still alive.

I managed to finish the shopping but every time I saw a flat of canned goods, a comfy looking sofa, or a pallet of paper I had to fight the urge to sit on it to rest my weary soul.

Tonight I feel so numb. My head seems to be buzzing with the numbness.

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